DABDA ii

I'm one pathetic monster.

Being in bed is hell. Waking and sleeping is too arduous for me; my mind can't seem to stop having memory marathons. I sleep late, I wake up late.

I went out alone. My first soloflight drinking experience. Drinking alone is fun, with a hint of sarcasm.

I am not myself. I am useless. I'd rather go out than stay at home. Idle moments bore holes into my heart.

Emo. That's who I am. Can I save myself from all of this?

I know I need to divert my attention but I can't.

I'm not crying every night. I'm not drunk all week. I am just plain sad. I don't know what I want but I know what I don't want.

It's not good for me to be alone during this times. And yet I am.

All of these things seem to say one thing. Hello depression.

It's been a month since we broke up. I'm like a car stuck in mud and my engines are roaring, almost on the brink of exhaustion. I want all of the drama to stop.

I just want to bounce back. Be productive. Smile again.

I know I'm on my way there.