Rediscovery

1. I don’t write about my confusion, doubts and worries. I don’t want to give them the finality, or let alone some space in my life.
2. I am always in need of an outlet. There are a lot of things within me that I can’t contain.
3. Risks are my cup of tea. I feel afraid, yes. But I don’t mind. I’d rather regret something I did than regret something I didn’t do.
4. There is this free-spirited child within me, one that I have silenced and buried for years. I am a free-spirit. I roll the way I want to.
5. I am in love with love. Loving is one of my greatest abilities. Coupled with optimism, this ability becomes one of my deadliest weapons.
6. I miss loving and being loved in return, romantically. There is no synthetic substitute for that.
7. But even so, I still think it’s too early to love and to share my life completely with someone.
8. Currently, I am experiencing mild pain, floating anxiety and fleeting happiness. It is a mixture I have dealt with for so many times but still, this feels like the first. And though it brings me so much misery, I actually feel so alive.
9. Note to self: Choose someone who makes you laugh. Choose someone whom you can talk to, sensibly or non-sensibly. Choose someone who lets you find who you are and loves you for your best and worst versions. Choose someone who has always been and will always be a good friend. :)
10. I must constantly find the will to pray.