On First Love

I am 22 years old. At this point, most people my age already met their first love. Although some have completely let go of their first love, to others, it has become their only love.

So I met him when I was 12, on the first day of school. I must say, I didn't really fall in love instantly. But I clearly remember that we were both smiling and looking into each other's eyes when we exchanged names in that certain corner of the classroom. Pardon me for being cheesy but my life was never the same since then.

Our story is quite long, and only both of us knew the original and heartfelt version. But to shorten the whole ten years, we first became bestfriends. Soon after, the friendship grew deeper until we eventually liked each other. Because we were still teens, we liked other people too and had relationships with others along the way. But then, one day, he courted me. I said yes. And since it seemed like applied physics for both of us, we parted ways when we reached college. Even if we lost the relationship, we remained good friends through the course of time. And even if we were single, we didn’t commit to anyone else. Until four years later, we found ourselves in each other's arms again.

It's good to be with your first love for a million reasons. And though I can't cite all of them, let me give a few. Primarily, the conversations couldn't get any better. We often talked about our childhood before we met each other, our highschool life, and future plans which aren't necessarily for us together. It was truly nice to share those long talks and walks with him. Also, I can't overlook the beauty of knowing someone for a long time. I don’t know him completely, but I have a good idea of who he is and vice versa. He knew how to turn my day around and make me smile even in the most boring hours of the day. He simply understands me. At the same time, being with my first love was not hard for my family; it actually spared them of their fear that I might date some rebel, addict, or maniac. In a way, they were confident whenever we went out. And finally, sticking with the first love gave us thousands of memories together. At times, we would just sit, pick one memory among the thousands, and laugh or cry about it. Doing that pretty much consumes the time during our dates and bonding sessions.

But as I grew older, I also learned a few cons. And I've been learning more recently. When we were still together, we lived in this bubble where only he and I existed. But then, I realized that we live in a huge world full of possibilities. Being chained to my first love limits the experiences that I can have in this world. I realized I want to experience a wonderful detachment, one that allows me to see the world and be myself while being loved and supported by someone special. Also, I suddenly thought that though my age seems mature, I still consider myself young with lots of years ahead of me. Even so, I am confronted with the question, what if the person I liked when I was 12 will not be the same person I will love when I'm 30? I must admit, sometimes I wish I met my first love when I was a bit older. At least by that time, we wouldn't have to wait too long. And by that time, we would just have to make it happen. And finally, I realized that people my age have a track record of five to six relationships. I only have two; one with my neighbor and from that you know it was fleeting, and another with my first real love. Period. At times, I wonder whether I’m missing out on some things. But I got distracted with the beauty of staying with my first love, I didn’t pretty much dwell on what I was missing. Now, I have the chance to find out.

Someone I knew had a theory – the person you end up with should be different from your first love. She said by doing so, it reveals how you have matured from the time you met your first love until the time you decide to tie the knot. But still, I’ve heard of people who end up with their first love, come what may. And there are some who end up with someone else only to realize they want to be with the person they first learned to love. But then, I also heard a story of how a man turned his back on a long-term relationship with his first love just because of someone new. These possibilities truly scare me. And yet, there are still others who are in their 20s and still waiting for their first love.

Our story evolved within ten years. I’ve always received jokes that it could qualify as an episode of MMK or it deserves to be a telenovela. And in ten years time, we pretty much covered most of the relationship status options in Facebook, except for Married and Engaged. Ten years. The roots have crept towards the deepest part of the ground, making it grueling to remove. I don’t think my life will ever be the same.

I am 22 years old and I already met my first love. Though I am quite unsure whether this is the only love I’ll ever have, I believe I enjoyed every bit of it. They say first love never dies. But I contend that true love never ends. In my case, I hope it won’t.