Pencil

Earlier, I was looking for something in our warehouse-like bedroom. As I was searching for it, I remembered a peculiar incident.

Rewind. It happened two years ago. I was in the house of my guy bestfriend. Well, at that time, we were in the stage of finding out whether we should be together or whether we should just stay bestfriends. He wanted to be in a relationship and he liked me, but for some reason, he didn't see me in a different light just yet. Boo. So yeah, it was complicated.

So anyway, we were in his house. We were on the couch and I was helping him out with his school project. He suddenly stood up and started looking for something. He was lifting the pillows on the couch one by one, checking his pockets, peeking underneath the table. I asked him what he was looking for. He said his precious mechanical pencil was missing. He told me he was just holding it earlier and he forgot where he placed it. He went to his parents' bedroom where he went a few minutes ago. With this, his mom was bothered with all the searching and tried to help too.  After a few moments, he finally found the pencil just a few inches away from where he was seated earlier. To this, his mom said..

"Yan kasi, pag may bagay na importante sayo, huwag mo basta-bastang bitawan kung saan-saan lang. At kung may hinahanap ka, huwag ka na maghanap sa malayo. Madalas, nandiyan lang yan malapit sayo."

And with this, his mom looked at me and I thought I saw her wink or something twinkled in her eye, I dunno. And upon hearing what his mother said, the guy bestfriend quickly looked at me as if upon reaction to what he just heard. I felt blood rush into my cheeks and I remember how my jaw dropped a little that time. It took me a few moments to realize how awkward the moment was so I proceeded with pretending to check my phone for any text messages. Sheesh!

Fast forward to a year later. Guy Bestfriend and I jumped into a relationship. We've been together for more than a year. If we "play" the current frame, we're both still trying to revive what we found in each other. After all, you can't simply let go of your valuables. And yes, in my doodle world, he's known as "The Boy".

It's funny how ordinary day-to-day instances actually point out the valuable lessons in life and love.

Sigh. :)

Thursday

I think most people would agree with me if I say that 2009 wasn't quite a good year for most of us. The country experienced a lot of typhoons, controversies and calamities this year. Personally, I hurdled one of the biggest challenges in my life and in our family so far. At first, I thought it was just me but when I looked around, geez. I see lots of people having tough times too.

But despite this, there are still lots of good things to pay attention to. First, I simply admire the Filipino spirit of facing trials and challenges with positivity. Only Filipinos can go through such hardships but still manage to crack jokes, sing and laugh. Though I'm not a completely positive person, I still thank God for turning my head to the brighter side of things all the time. Also, now that the worst is over, we can only be thankful for how our things turned out for our good, for how our lives have been changed by these tough experiences, and how all of us have remained sane and free from anti-psychotics. And probably, the best part of going through a long and crazy year is the thought that if this year wasn't all good, the next one probably will be better. You know how they say, when you're down in the pits, the only way to go is up. :)

**

I'm overflowing with good vibes today. I realized that giving value to superficial things kills the soul. As a person, I feel like I lose substance and depth when I engross myself too much with make-up, glamor, popularity and everything else that fades. For quite some time, I feel like I lost touch with my values, my beliefs, my dreams, and the other stuff that comprise the real me. It feels good to have the urge to rekindle my soul. Aaah basta.

I had a nice talk with a friend today. He asked me where I am in my life right now. It took me a full minute to come up with an honest but pa-deep answer. I recognized myself as someone standing in front of a gap. Beyond that gap is a dream that I have been yearning for. The gap is too wide to jump across and it's making me think of the best way to get there. Although it seems impossible, all I know is that I have this incredible belief in myself that I will get there.

Woohoo. This is already 20 ft deep! :) So to anyone reading this, where do you stand in your life right now?:)

Come to think of it.

Friends!

Over a few weeks, I met up with some of my closest friends. Yeeey! :)

Deep Friends

I call them "deep friends" because they're the ones I have deep conversations with, sa sobrang deep nakakalunod. Engk! Terro, his girlfriend Jec and my college superfriend Jessa visited me three weeks ago.
Jessa was my classmate in 2nd year college. She sat behind me in class and she was usually perky and yeah, noisy, so we got along haha. I met Terro more than a decade ago, way back in sixth grade. He was my classmate, we were seatmates at one point. When I transferred to another school, I didn't see him for years until one day, I rang their doorbell and borrowed his cassette player hahaha. Jec is terro's girlfriend, so yun.

 All three are making lots of money through networking. And in all honesty, when I see people who wanna do business talk on my doorstep, I'm quite unsure whether to let them in. But gladly, they spared me from their schemes and we all had a nice chit-chat over Pan de Mongo until midnight.

Happy Friends

Two weeks ago, I met up with my friends Gian and Belle. Now that makes me realize how their names sound so Italian. Anyhow, I picked up Gian in his apartment because it usually takes him hoursss to get ready. To my surprise, he was prepared when I got there. While waiting for him to polish his look, I hooked up with someone in his apartment.

Then we went to SPH to visit Belle's brother. Afterwhich, we went to Saint Jude and then ate at AnniPie.  There, we had a very long and intriguing conversation. I bet the waitresses heard us and they all scooped an interesting story to tell their friends. :))

It was my first time to eat at Annipie. I must say, their pastries are VERY DELICIOUS. I had Decadent Chocolate, which was chocolate cake surrounded by a puddle of caramel. Belle had Tiramisu and Gian ordered Mocha Sansrival. The Sansrival had a little "kick" in every bite and by the time we finished it, we were all laughing boisterously like drunk middle-aged men. Before we left, we were told that it had a teeny bit mix of liquor. Aaah okay.

Highschool BFFs

A week ago, I met up with my highschool bestfriends Janine and Ai. Aaaah, those girls and I go a long, long way back. They were both my classmates in my freshmen year in Philippine Women's College. I was the new girl and they were the ones I grew comfortable being with. And so we've been bestfriends since then. They are two of the very few people who know me best, from my craziest to my lowest low. And now they have two little versions of themselves!

After a night of talking with the girls and playing with the kids, my voice was hoarse! We were planning to do a major reunion with our other bestfriends. My fingers are crossed. :)

Because I need to stay home most of the time, I can't help but feel isolated. But then, meeting up with my friends make me realize that they really are there. I'm happy to have friends that I don't necessarily have to meet every single day because I know that a simple meet-up is enough to guarantee that the deep friendship is still there.


Cheers!

The Magic Instant by Paulo Coelho

**I am a huge Paulo Coelho fan. Earlier tonight, I was reading his blog that I recently discovered. (It's http://paulocoelhoblog.com) As expected, I couldn't stop reading his posts. There were many other passages that were also inspirational, but I picked this one since it spoke to me and inspired me the most. Hope you enjoy it as well. :)

The Magic Instant


We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.

Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant. It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.

Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.

Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”

Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.

We must listen to the child that we once were, and who still lives within us. This child understands about magic instants. We can muffle his sobbing, but we can’t hush his voice.

If we aren’t reborn, if we don’t see life again with the innocence and enthusiasm of childhood, then there is no more sense to living.

There are many ways to commit suicide. Those who try to kill their body offend God’s law. Those who try to kill their soul also offend God’s law, although their crime is less visible to the eyes of man.

Let us be heedful of what the child within us has to say. Let’s not feel ashamed of it. Let’s not allow it to feel afraid, because it’s lonely and is scarcely ever heard.

Let’s allow the child within us to take the reins of our existence a little. This child says that one day is different from another.

Let’s make the child feel loved again. Let’s please this child – even if it means acting in a way that we’re not used to, even if it seems foolish in the eyes of others.

Remember that the wisdom of men is madness before God. If we listen to the child we bear in our soul, our eyes will shine once more. If we don’t lose contact with this child, we won’t lose contact with life.

Let’s live all the magic instants of 2009!

Love

There is always someone in the world waiting for someone else, whether in the middle of the desert or in the heart of some big city. And when these two people’s paths cross and their eyes meet, the whole of the past and the whole of the future lose all importance, and there only exists that moment and that incredible certainty that everything under the Sun was written by the very same Hand. The Hand that awakens Love and creates a sister soul for everyone who works, rests and seeks treasures under the Sun. Were it not for this, the dreams of the human race would make no sense.

Finally!

This page has been going thru some sort of identity crisis lately. It wants to be chic but a rockstar at the same time. It wants to be clean but it also looks scruffy. And though I try to make it sound as if the blog has a mind of its own, it's actually my mind that's pretty fickle. So after sifting through the many pre-made templates in the web, and even dreaming of them as I sleep, I finally settled for this one. Yeeeey! :)

There are so many things I haven't taken into account.

One, I've been cooking and baking a lot the past few weeks. The toughest one was Embutido, the most delicious dish I made has to be Burger Steak. The sloppiest one would be the Strawberry Chocolate Cake, which breaks into crumbs after slicing hahaha. And my most loved masterpiece would have to be the Chocolate and Peanut Butter Chipped Coookies which I baked just yesterday. I love it the most because finally I can have something to munch whenever I get those late night cravings.

Two, I met a lot of my friends within two weeks time. Because I'm somewhat isolated from the rest of them, seeing them feels like a grand reunion each time. I'll reserve the stories on another post.

Three, I'm not much of a Facebook addict anymore! Yeeey! Finally, I have trained my mind to stop thinking of cool and philosophical status messages to post. Now, I'll just leave it as it is.

Four, I'm having strange dreams lately. And it's mostly about the things that I know I want but I just can't tell other people about. Oooh, juicy eh? Haha. Like, the other night I dreamt I was walking the streets of London clothed in my winter attire, surrounded by pale-skinned English people. Ay I wish!

Lastly, I am so much hooked on PBB! If you know someone among the housemates, it's really unavoidable to get hooked. And though I twinge with dislike when I see that certain housemate, I can't help but watch each episode. Which housemate? Secret! :)

Aack!

So I found this nice and simple and real and girly layout.

But it doesn't have that button that takes you to older posts or shows the archives! Aaah! Have to ask my techie friends 'bout this.

As of now, I made my eyes bleed by staring at the PC for five hours, tinkering with this layout. And as of now, my sister has been sighing heavily everytime she passes by. Alright, alright. My turn on the TV.

And oh, ain't sick anymore. Yaaay! :)

Down With The Sickness (Uwa-ah-ah-ah!)

If we were to replay the last twenty-four hours, it would be pretty much boring. I just stayed in bed, ate a little, texted a little, walked around for a while then stayed in bed again. I'm a pathetic virus-carrying monster with a mask on my face to protect my family members. Don't forget to add the fact that I just got out of a long-term relationship.

But anyhow, even if I'm sick, I find it odd that I'm craving for FOOD. Crabs, french fries, freshly baked bread, grilled pork. Aaahh. I miss food, though I can't even taste them.

I hate being sick. It is the total opposite of this very energetic person that I am. I can't do the things I want to, can't go near my mom, and I can't stay up late. My head is throbbing, my eyes are always teary, walking around seems like a chore and my throat is very itchy. Plus, my right jaw is a bit swollen; it seems like I have mumps. Baaa. This sucks.

I used to think I was this very healthy person that won't catch a cold at any cost. Guess I'm not that invincible after all. :))

News!

1. I am VERY sick.
2. I want to sleep all day.
3. I can't go near Mama, I'm afraid she might catch whatever I'm having.
4. I just had a craaaazy weekend! :)
5. I want to write but I'm too tired. Whew.

But I changed the blog layout though. :p Next time.

Loose Association

I can be as miserable as I want to be but I'm not. It's still a surprise for me how I'm not making my eyes bleed each night by sobbing, knowing how much of a crybaby I am. Probably, what happened to my mom has helped to keep my emotions intact.

But I do admit I miss the person I used to connect with, 24/7. I wish I could have those late night talks with him again. Or hold his hand, both in public and in private. Looking into his eyes would greatly comfort me right now. I miss the only man I love. Yeah, cheesy.

As of now, I believe it would take a miracle for us to communicate. Even a single message from him is impossible.

I've repeated the "separation story" more than ten times to different people. From time to time, I get varied advice on what to do and how to go about the situation. I realized, whoever coined the maxim "Follow your heart" must have received so many advice to the point that he too got confused on what to do.

If I were to follow my heart, I certainly know what it wants. The problem is how do I get it?

I went out with my friends today and I learned how talking about the situation eases the burden. It is certainly not the best time for me to be alone. While walking round the mall, I can't help but hate those happy couples walking past. Bitter Ocampo hahaha. But the true comfort of the day is knowing that my friends are rooting for my happiness. Period.

Another thing that surprises me is my willingness to take risks. I guess this goes back to my mom's situation, when I saw for myself how life is too short.

If God forgives and gives chances, I wish humans would too.

These thoughts are fleeting. I am both scared and comforted with the fact that these may change in a few days or weeks time. I hope and pray for the best.

I'll be going to bed. It takes me an hour before I finally get to sleep. Nowadays, hell means getting up in the morning and going to bed. Aaahh, I should stop being ungrateful.

***

I noticed that the readers' counter have increased a lot! To those reading this, thank you so much. Pardon me for all the mush I've been writing lately but maybe that prompts you to keep on reading right? Haha. I just want you to know that comments will highly be appreciated. Friends tayong lahat! :)

On First Love

I am 22 years old. At this point, most people my age already met their first love. Although some have completely let go of their first love, to others, it has become their only love.

So I met him when I was 12, on the first day of school. I must say, I didn't really fall in love instantly. But I clearly remember that we were both smiling and looking into each other's eyes when we exchanged names in that certain corner of the classroom. Pardon me for being cheesy but my life was never the same since then.

Our story is quite long, and only both of us knew the original and heartfelt version. But to shorten the whole ten years, we first became bestfriends. Soon after, the friendship grew deeper until we eventually liked each other. Because we were still teens, we liked other people too and had relationships with others along the way. But then, one day, he courted me. I said yes. And since it seemed like applied physics for both of us, we parted ways when we reached college. Even if we lost the relationship, we remained good friends through the course of time. And even if we were single, we didn’t commit to anyone else. Until four years later, we found ourselves in each other's arms again.

It's good to be with your first love for a million reasons. And though I can't cite all of them, let me give a few. Primarily, the conversations couldn't get any better. We often talked about our childhood before we met each other, our highschool life, and future plans which aren't necessarily for us together. It was truly nice to share those long talks and walks with him. Also, I can't overlook the beauty of knowing someone for a long time. I don’t know him completely, but I have a good idea of who he is and vice versa. He knew how to turn my day around and make me smile even in the most boring hours of the day. He simply understands me. At the same time, being with my first love was not hard for my family; it actually spared them of their fear that I might date some rebel, addict, or maniac. In a way, they were confident whenever we went out. And finally, sticking with the first love gave us thousands of memories together. At times, we would just sit, pick one memory among the thousands, and laugh or cry about it. Doing that pretty much consumes the time during our dates and bonding sessions.

But as I grew older, I also learned a few cons. And I've been learning more recently. When we were still together, we lived in this bubble where only he and I existed. But then, I realized that we live in a huge world full of possibilities. Being chained to my first love limits the experiences that I can have in this world. I realized I want to experience a wonderful detachment, one that allows me to see the world and be myself while being loved and supported by someone special. Also, I suddenly thought that though my age seems mature, I still consider myself young with lots of years ahead of me. Even so, I am confronted with the question, what if the person I liked when I was 12 will not be the same person I will love when I'm 30? I must admit, sometimes I wish I met my first love when I was a bit older. At least by that time, we wouldn't have to wait too long. And by that time, we would just have to make it happen. And finally, I realized that people my age have a track record of five to six relationships. I only have two; one with my neighbor and from that you know it was fleeting, and another with my first real love. Period. At times, I wonder whether I’m missing out on some things. But I got distracted with the beauty of staying with my first love, I didn’t pretty much dwell on what I was missing. Now, I have the chance to find out.

Someone I knew had a theory – the person you end up with should be different from your first love. She said by doing so, it reveals how you have matured from the time you met your first love until the time you decide to tie the knot. But still, I’ve heard of people who end up with their first love, come what may. And there are some who end up with someone else only to realize they want to be with the person they first learned to love. But then, I also heard a story of how a man turned his back on a long-term relationship with his first love just because of someone new. These possibilities truly scare me. And yet, there are still others who are in their 20s and still waiting for their first love.

Our story evolved within ten years. I’ve always received jokes that it could qualify as an episode of MMK or it deserves to be a telenovela. And in ten years time, we pretty much covered most of the relationship status options in Facebook, except for Married and Engaged. Ten years. The roots have crept towards the deepest part of the ground, making it grueling to remove. I don’t think my life will ever be the same.

I am 22 years old and I already met my first love. Though I am quite unsure whether this is the only love I’ll ever have, I believe I enjoyed every bit of it. They say first love never dies. But I contend that true love never ends. In my case, I hope it won’t.

Day Two

Day Two was his birthday. A few days back, when we were still together, I planned something. I'm someone who's big on surprises and year after year, I always did something that would surprise him. I guess this year, I was the one surprised.

On the morning of Day Two, I felt like I woke up in hell. Suddenly, sadness had this huge arms that were wrapped around me. My eyes were puffy from crying the night before. It was a good cry, one that I badly needed. Little did I know that I was going to do more sulking the next day.

I was doing some house chores when my finger got stuck in a drawer. I banged the drawer when I closed it without noticing that my finger was still inside. It was very painful. Being the crybaby that I am, I cried. At first, it was because I couldn't feel my finger anymore. Minutes later, I was crying because I lost someone who was celebrating his birthday that day. My mom saw me crying. After a few moments, she was crying too. She shared my grief somehow.

I proceeded with the day, evolving into this super pathetic being that I once was years ago. Deleting old messages, listening to sad songs, staring blankly at a wall and remembering the past. The funny and good thing is, when I remember us, the good times come to surface even if we fought a million times. As the day went on, I continued to morph from a girl brimming with positivity into an "emo" kid wanting to tear the whole world down.

Before Day Two ended, we talked on the phone. It was a good conversation. I said the things I might regret not saying. I was crying too much that the desk literally had a puddle of tears. Gaaaah. I never imagined that I'd be this way again.

Before, when the day ends, I would be thankful for two things. One, my mom is a survivor. Two, I had a beautiful and thriving relationship. For Day Two, I thanked God for my mom's life and The Boy's life, which I was a part of even for a while.

Day One

Today is the first day after the earthquake, something that shook me til I hit ground zero. It is devastating, it is painful and it is unexpected. Although I've been through this before, I realize how my defenses have altered completely.

Day one is for state of shock. It's day when your mind is just filled with replays. Replays of what happened before the earthquake. Replays of how you acted and reacted while the ground was shaking beneath your feet. Words and cries continuously echo through your mind, making Day One very unproductive. Sure, you could go with your daily routine but your mind would be elsewhere.

Day One could also be spent in denial. It didn't happen. Maybe it can still be patched up. Maybe it's just among many other ordinary earthquakes. And because you're still in denial, maybe you will shed a few tears.

My Day One started out fine. I embraced the new yet familiar world. I went through my daily routine, with flashbacks often disturbing my thoughts. But I couldn't go through the day without doing two things. One was to talk to friends. I vented out my feelings, my worries, my thoughts. And as expected, they gave advice, which from experience I knew that any amount of it won't make me feel better. And two was to cry. I had to let the truth sink in. I had to mourn. I was sad and and I knew it is a must for me to let it all out.

Many years ago, I experienced the same thing from the same source. That time, I was a terrible mess. It was as if my world stopped. I lost my ground. I did immature things; looking back does not make me feel proud. It took me a long time before I tried to be out in the field again.

Now, I am thankful to see that my responses changed. I refuse to rebel, to do anything that would provoke guilt. I choose to sort my thoughts without the influence of anything but music. I refuse to do a text brigade informing everyone of the disaster I'm in. I just want to be with myself, nursing my broken heart.

It is only Day One. The good news is, at some point, things will get better from Day One to 1000. I will be strong. I will be better. I will be happy.

***

I don't know if I made any sense writing this. I tried to. But again, things will get better. In times like this, nothing else could soothe me but music. My song for today is Someone You Used To Know by Zee Avi. It captures the whole thing.

Goodnight. :)

TGIF

I posted my nifty to-do list yesterday and I'm one proud house daughter. Here's how it went.

1. Go to the bank and withdraw our monthly budget. I had to go 'round Bankerohan just to find a decent parking space. I've become a bit paranoid from all the carjacking incidents.
2. Go to Aldevinco (the land of milk and honey hahaha) and visit my suki money changer I parked a kilometer away. I'm not that paranoid after all.
3. Pay cable and electricity bills at Ponciano Watched Mr. Bean while waiting in line.
4. Pay water bill at Victoria Plaza I gave the exact amount, including the eighty cents. Frugalist much?
5. Buy a DVD that I could watch for weeks Engkkk! I looked for a good movie or series, something I could lounge around to. But I didn't find anything nice, even the latest season of Family Guy. Boo.
6. Buy our snacks Waffles!
7. Find time to squeeze in a meet-up with my friend This leads me to my second story of the day.

But before thaaaat, I got so hyped up from being able to drive around the city alone in a big van and cutting on unruly taxi drivers. I hate it when other drivers try to scare me off the road just because I'm a lady driver. Maliit na nga, minamaliit pa.

***
Today, I saw..

**Because I rarely meet up with the people I know, I will make it a point to have a photo with them if ever I run into them. I must post the photo here and include how I met them. Hopefully, it will allow me to cherish my friends more.**

.. Belle, Gian and Gidz! After 456, 789 years, finally, I did CPR on my social life! I met Belle and Japoy at MTS, drove to Obrero to pick up Gian then proceeded to McDonalds. Then we had a mini-reunion in a place that we missed the most!


This is me in my half-zebra half-woman attire with them haha. I met Belle through Gian. Gian was my classmate in second year college. We often hung out in their apartment, so I met Belle who lived with them. I met Gideon when, spur of the moment, my friends and I went to his house late in the evening. It's a splendid place by the beach, you can't help but love it. We ended up going to his place often and bringing more common friends along. Tadaaaa. :)

I haven't seen Belle in two months, Gian in four months or so, and Gideon in 10 months or more! To think that we all used to go out every week!

For the entire night and up until near-dawn, we indulged in a lengthy conversation that started with how we were doing then it led to gays, indie films, love, life, nursing, relationships, food. I loved that conversation! They're the kind of friends that I can just sit back and chill with, over music, bags of chips and softdrinks. No need for 100-peso coffee and all that jazz.

We've all gone a long way since we last saw each other. It feels great to meet your friends again after a long time. The best part is when you see how they're lives have tremendously changed but your friendship hasn't.

I'm so happy to have bonded with them, so happy that I looked drugged when I got up this morning hahaha. Looking forward to my next bond!

To Do List

Today is Friday. It's almost lunchtime and I am fully aware that I have lots of errands to run. But here I am, sitting in front of the monster that is the PC, procrastinating the hours away. To get myself started, here are the things that I should do.

1. Go to the bank and withdraw our monthly budget.
2. Go to Aldevinco (the land of milk and honey hahaha) and visit my suki money changer
3. Pay cable and electricity bills at Ponciano
4. Pay water bill at Victoria Plaza
5. Buy a DVD that I could watch for weeks
6. Buy our snacks
   
7. Find time to squeeze in a meet-up with my friend

Ahh. The joys of being the head of the household.. Not. I will be driving alone again for hours. The thjing I hate when I drive alone is having to find a parking space where I could squeeze in. When I have someone with me, I can just press the hazard button then conveniently leave the car on the shoulder of the road. Baaaa. Good luck Nikka.

Ang dami ko pang sinasabi, di pa nga ako naliligo. Haha. Will check back on this list later. Baboo.

Pakonti-konti

Ang bagal ng internet connection ngayon. Parang yung speed ng connection nung mga 2003, nung panay ang babad ko sa internet cafe sa kanto para magFriendster at magresearch ng lyrics ng mga R&B na kanta sa Lyrics.com. Hay I love you PLDT DSL!

Kanina lang, may nabuo na akong blog sa utak ko. Pero dahil mabagal ang connection, putol-putol din ang aking train of thought.

Hindi pwedeng hindi ko banggitin na maraming lugar na ang apektado ng pagka-moody ni Mother Earth. Luzon, Samoa, Vietnam, Indonesia, pati Georgia, Atlanta. Menopausal na siguro si Mama Earth. Tama na please.

Miss ko na camera ko. Hindi naman talaga yun akin ng buong-buo. Nakiki-camera lang ako kay Papa. Ayun, dala niya sa Mongolia ngayon. Sad. :| Gusto kong mamasyal at magpindot buong araw.

Umuwi na rin ang mga pinsan ko sa Manila. Nakaka-miss agad. Walang kuya at ate. :| Ganito talaga siguro basta panganay noh?

Pero kahit ganun, masaya pa rin ako ngayong araw. Pagdukot ko sa bulsa ng bagong laba kong shorts, aba! May papel! Pera! Bente? Singkwenta? Isang daan? Hindi. Isang libo!!! Kung saan, kelan at paano napunta ang isang libo sa bulsa ko, wala akong alam. Basta alam ko, may isang libo na ako! Woohoo!

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Naisip ko na andami kong ginagawa tuwing nagda-drive ako mag-isa. Tulad ng..

• pagkuha ng picture. Picture ng mga taong dumadaan, kotseng nakakasalubong, sunset, etc. Pag nakatigil ako sa red light, pati sarili ko, kinukunan ko na ng picture. Pangit lang ang mga angle, nakafocus sa mga butas ng aking ilong, masisilip ang utak ko.
• pagkanta ng malakas. Kahit nakasara ang mga bintana at di naririnig ng mga tao sa labas, halata pa ring kumakanta ako kasi makikita ako sa loob na papikit-pikit sa pagbirit. Yaks.
• mga nakakadiring habits. Tulad ng pag-yawn na sa sobrang laki ng bunganga, kita na ang aking spleen. At tulad na rin ng pangungulangot, pagtanggal ng tinga, pagkamot ng kili-kili, pag-ayos ng bra kung nakapuwesto ba ng tama. Feel at home ako sa kotse eh, ano ba.
• pagsayaw. Kanina, banat ako sa pagsayaw habang naka-red light. Woohoo, may pa-snap snap pa!

Ang masaklap nito, andami ko na ngang ginagawang kalokohan habang nagmamaneho, lagi ko pa talagang nakakalimutan na hindi tinted ang aking mga bintana! Huwaaa.

Ayun lang muna. Pakonti-konti. Goodnight.